Sometimes You Just Don't Know Why

Have you ever felt God telling you to do something and it made no sense? Have you ever heard Him say something and wondered “Why in the world would I do that?” What did you do then? Did you do it or did you leave it? Did you pray about it or did you ignore it? Did you write it down, or did you forget all about it?

I have heard God tell me things in the past that have made me ask Him the question that all parents love hearing from their kids: “Why??” Why should I do this? Why do I need to do that? What’s the purpose? What’s the point? And honestly, when I ask, I’m not really looking for the reason as to why I should do it, but rather an excuse not to do it.

And I’m not talking about crazy things here. I’m not talking about hearing things like the prophets heard, to walk around Jerusalem naked, lay on my side for 400 days or marry a prostitute. And I’m not talking about things that go against what I know to be the heart of God. I’m talking about simple things that just haven’t fit into my perspective of something I should do (or in my case, learn to do).

I just recently completed some leadership training for the organization I work with and in one of the sessions, the speaker posed the question: “What command has God given you that makes no sense now but could unlock a future mystery?” I remembered then some of the things God has clearly spoken to me to do (or rather, to learn), and I realized, because I didn’t know the answer to my question of “Why?” I hadn’t done those things. I haven’t been obedient to Him because I didn’t know the purpose. But obedience isn’t just doing what He says as He explains the details, it’s doing what He says when He says it without knowing all the facts. God sent Abraham to a land he did not know; he went and it was credited to him as righteousness. Abraham didn’t know where or why, but he went (eventually). That’s faith. Obedience without the details, without explanation, without the answer to the question “Why?” So, that is my challenge—to myself, but also to you. Has God told you to do something without explaining the “why?” Have you done it or are you waiting for more instruction? Let me encourage you to do it, to be faithful with what He has already given you. Because sometimes, you just don’t know why, but that’s ok. Move forward anyway.

The Battle is Over

"Lay down your sword; the battle is over."

That’s what the Lord told me two weeks ago.

Which battle? Well, actually, a battle I didn’t realize I was still fighting. You know that post I wrote in September entitled An Encounter With Grief. Yeah, it’s that battle. (Long time ago, no?)

One of the most surprising things about this battle is how long I have been fighting it and not even been aware that it has been lingering. It has gotten easier since that original post. Significantly easier. Over time. But it’s hung on until now.

With a new year and a new job in a new country, I thought the old was gone. I will admit that I have had some hard days in the past four months, days that, just out of the blue I would feel more melancholy and on the verge of tears (some unexpectedly escaping at times). Despite the seemingly random days that were slightly more difficult, however, I thought I was finished with this fight. I didn't even realize, though, that I was still on the battlefield.

I have been standing here almost a year, which I know is nothing compared to the amount of time others spend with their monsters in the arena, but when you don’t know you’re still there, you don’t expect to have to keep your sword poised to fight. For me, I lowered my arm several times and started to walk away, tired and thinking I was done. But the monster kept coming back, weakened but still waging war. And every time, I was surprised. I had expected him to fall over, to give up, to quit. However, it wasn’t until the day after Easter that he finally did.

And now? Now I have wounds to tend to, healing that still needs to take place, some minor scratches, some deeper gashes that I recognize will take more time to heal. Fortunately, my Physician is the Repairer of Broken Things and He can, and I believe will, touch my heart and bring the healing and restoration that I need. But He has declared that my battle is finished, and that is the best news I could possibly receive. I will take the time I need to allow my heart to heal; I will have grace for myself in the process (because it is a process!). And even though it’s possible that a piece of my heart will always be missing, I take pride in the fact that I loved deeply (deeper than I was aware) and I have the scars to prove it.

My current theme song: Sweet Surrender by Philippa Hannah

 "So I'll wear my scars with pride

It reminds me I survived"

 

His Favorite One

I am God's favorite.

And so are you.

In John 14, the apostle quotes Jesus as saying, "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you," which means that Jesus loves us with the same love that the Father has for Him. There is no higher love than this. And He loves each of us this way. Which means, we are each His favorite.

So go on and celebrate, because YOU are His favorite!

You know, He really likes you. Yes, He loves you, but He really enjoys you too. He created each of us uniquely, and He gave each of us individual personalities, no two of which are alike. You are special (no air quotes added!). You are the apple of His eye. His desire is for you! And even in your immaturity and your weakness, He still likes you. He still enjoys you. He knows absolutely everything about you, all your character flaws, all your little secrets, all your bad habits, all your past, present and future sins, and He still wants to be with you! And actually, grabbing hold of that revelation can transform the way that you think about Him and change the way you relate to Him.

But there is something else that has hit me recently which is beginning to alter my perspective of others, and that is that this person I am talking to, this person who is standing in front of me, this person who keeps calling me even though I don't really want to speak to them, this person whose personality absolutely annoys me, this person who has really hurt me, this person who (fill in the blank), is His favorite one. He really loves this person. He made them unique. They are the apple of His eye. His desire is for them. Yes, they have weaknesses, character flaws, secrets, bad habits, sins, etc. as well, but He LOVES them with an everlasting love and He GAVE the life of His Son for them. And that revelation changes the way that I see them and therefore the way I interact with them.

In the parable of the Pearl of Great Price Jesus likens the Kingdom of Heaven to a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it. That pearl of great price is you. But it is also that other person, that person whose laughter grates on your nerves, that person you keep avoiding, that person who continually asks you to do things for them, that person whose name you cannot even mention because of the pain it causes. Yeah, it's that person as well.

So if He loves them this way, if Jesus loves this person with the same love the Father has for Jesus, and we take hold of that revelation, what should our response be? How are we supposed to love them? If we look at this person and say to ourselves, "This is God's favorite one" (because that is what He thinks of them!) it should certainly affect our attitude towards them and change what we think of them and how we behave towards them. To look at others through the lens of the love of Jesus, the same love the Father has for Him, will, if we let it, undoubtedly alter how we see each other and how we treat each other, and we will begin to grow closer to the reality of showing that we are His disciples because we love one another.