Love Endures

You know those people you just feel called to? You sense there’s a special bond there, and maybe you can’t even explain it, but it just is? Maybe they don’t feel it in return, but for you, you know you would do anything for them. I’ve had a few people like that in my life, and they have been the biggest sources of enjoyment as well as the largest challenges. I’ve learned the most from my relationships with them, usually (honestly) when they offend or hurt me and I have to take it to the Lord. It’s amazing what He reveals to me when I am absolutely annoyed with someone I really love. I am one of those people who analyze everything, especially anything having to do with relationships, doesn’t matter the kind of relationship, and He uses those people and those situations to speak truth to my heart.

What the Lord has been talking to me about recently is Proverbs 17:17 and 1 Corinthians 13. The wisdom of Solomon: “A friend loves at all times…” and the famous “Love is…” passage in Paul’s epistle. Ok, so if my desire is to be a good friend, which really is my heart’s cry in every relationship, then I am called to love at all times. But what does that look like? It looks like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7…it is suffering long (and sometimes I feel like I am suffering for a long time…). It is being kind. It is not being envious. It is refusing to boast , to be rude, to be self-seeking, to provoke, to think evil, to rejoice in iniquity. It is bearing/carrying all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. For me, it’s the last one that really convicts me recently- enduring all things. At. All. Times.

At all times. At ALL times. How can I possibly endure all things at all times? You know, there are days when a friend will make me so angry, or more often, disappoint me so much, I simply want to drop them. I am just being honest here, but sometimes I get so hurt, everything inside of me says, “Forget you, I’m moving on.” But then the still small voice speaks; that quiet whisper that comes from somewhere deep within, it speaks to me. And He reminds me of what He endured for me. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). And usually my super-holy response to Him is, “Really? You’ve got to be kidding me. I can’t give up on this person?” And He says no. Because He didn’t give up on me.

So I’ve thought a lot about how I should love my friends, especially lately, and am always reminded of a song by Misty Edwards (link at the bottom) entitled “What Does Love Look Like?” The fruit of her pondering—Love looks like Jesus on the cross, with “arms wide open and a heart exposed.” How convicting. On the cross His arms were physically stretched wide; there was no way He could protect Himself. He was completely vulnerable. Voluntarily completely vulnerable. He allowed it. Why? For the sake of Love. We know that He could have called a legion of angels to rescue Him, but He didn’t. He stayed there and loved, with His arms wide open and His heart exposed. If Jesus loved me this way, I have to love others the same. That means being open, available, vulnerable to others, allowing them access to me, knowing full well they have the ability to hurt me, knowing full well that eventually, they probably will. Love endures all things at all times.

The greatest source of comfort in this is knowing that there is One who endured for me, that for the joy set before Him He embraced the cross. For Me. So I will, in turn, take up my cross, I will share in the fellowship of His sufferings, and I will endure all things. For the sake of love.

 

 

What Does Love Look Like (Misty Edwards)

An Encounter with Grief

I have recently come out of what was certainly the most difficult season of my adult life. Praise the Lord it was a relatively short season. But it was seriously hard. I lost something very precious to me, and I have never felt so hopeless. The grief was overwhelming, and at times I had difficulty breathing, feeling the weight of my sorrow tangibly resting upon me. There were days I literally looked at the clock, wondering what I could do to make the time pass faster, wondering how I was ever going to make it to the next hour. I just wanted the day to be over. Why? I don’t know. The next day was often the same.

In the midst of it all, there wasn’t much I could do to alleviate the pain. There was only one thing—to put myself in the Presence of the only One who brings true comfort. The things that I would normally have used to numb the pain (i.e. movies, food, books) didn’t work. I found no enjoyment in anything. Literally nothing could distract me from what I was experiencing. So I sat in front of my laptop, with my headphones in, loudly pumping worship music into my ears, so I wouldn’t have to listen to my own thoughts, hoping the truth in the lyrics would somehow minister to my broken heart, and the sooner the better. I journaled; I wrote down everything about how I was feeling, and I was honest with God about how fearful I was I would lose this thing so precious to me (yeah, I saw it coming), then how angry I was that I lost it, and finally how hopeless I was once I had lost it. And I listened to sermons, the most encouraging things I could find—I badly needed to hear truth. And I poured out my heart to God. There were times I could do nothing but weep.

And you know what? He met me there in the middle of my storm. My friend Jesus who arrived at Bethany four days after Lazarus died and simply wept with Mary and Martha, empathizing with their grief, knowing all along He would raise His friend from the dead, yeah Him, He came and sat with me, and He mourned right alongside me, knowing I would soon make it to the other side, knowing He would be the One to carry me there. He didn’t belittle my sorrow at all. He didn't tell me to get my act together. He didn't tell me my sleepless nights were a waste of time. He didn't tell me my loss wasn't worth my tears. Actually He didn't really say anything. He simply validated my sorrow by putting every single tear into His bottle and bringing me comfort as only He can--with His sweet presence. And gradually, moment by moment, day by day, He brought (and is continuing to bring) healing to my heart, and He has given me the thing I could not even imagine having as I struggled not to drown in my suffering, the thing I cried out for more than anything--JOY.

 

 

"Where God is silent, the power of His presence is most profound in how He grieves with us." (Steven Furtick, Greater)

Every heartache will fade away: Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)

 

 

Brothers

For my birthday, one of my guy friends signed my card not with the usual expressed 'Happy birthday' sentiments but with Proverbs 17:17: 'A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity,' which I honestly thought was hilarious. As an only child, I haven't experienced this much for myself, but for the past several weeks, the verse continues to come back to me, usually when one of my 'brothers' is being 'adversarial'...which in most cases means annoying.

I love my brothers here in this community (my sisters as well) and really appreciate them for who they are. But it isn't always easy. I don't have a biological brother, so sometimes I forget that guys are so different. They joke about things that girls don't joke about. They emit noises that *most girls don't make. And sometimes I want to scream at them to grow up. (And sometimes that desire manifests itself, although I usually try to leave the room before it gets to that point). They are just strange. They think differently, they feel differently, they express themselves differently, they are so completely weird.

But, despite the difficulties/frustrations their weirdness can cause, I love them. Really. Without them life would be so boring. And, what is more important, they have a purpose in my life--they are the iron the Lord uses to sharpen me, the trials the Lord uses to test me (yeah, sometimes it's really that bad) and the tools He uses to grow me. 'A friend loves at all times...'. Even in the midst of annoyance, even in the midst of adversity, I remember these are my brothers, these are my friends, and I (choose to) love them.




*exception: Miru

Communal Living

     Living in community is always a challenge. Living in a Christian community can be even more so. Fortunately, I am continually reminded that it is also a blessing. Here in this tiny place that is just a blip on the map of England, a small country in itself, the challenges of everyday communal living are quite real. For me, they lie mostly under the surface and I tend to be able to give them to God without too many people noticing. But they are there and I know will continue to be there and I will have to continue to submit them to the Lord. I think I am realizing that mostly they are the lies the enemy always tells me, just amplified, intensified. For others, the challenges of the day are more evident.
      I went out the other day with a friend (we both had the day off and fancied some good coffee) and we ended up talking about some of the recent challenges we have faced. And I was reminded of a few things: 1) Sometimes we need to express our frustrations; it helps so often just to give voice to them. Maybe there is nothing we can do in our situation, but talking about it with a trusted friend can help so much. 2) We cannot solve the problems of our world. For me, I am always in a position of submission to authority (as we all are, but I usually seem to be closer to the bottom than the top) and as much as I would love to just sit and talk and figure out all the answers to all the problems in my current tiny world, I can't. I don't have the answers and my opinions matter little. And that's ok. It's not my job to figure out the solutions to the problems. It's my job to support those whose job is to hear the solution from the One who has the answers. And 3) The enemy is always scheming, always plotting to ruin the good work the Lord is doing in His kingdom. In a community such as this, it's so easy to allow him access to our relationships. We work and live and worship and play together, something I think the Lord loves, but our close lifestyle intensifies our relationships, making the good better and the bad, even worse.
     For me, that means I have to remember to get out every once in a while. I love where I live, and honestly, it takes some effort as well as money (usually) to get out and back, but I have to remind myself that too much of a good thing, can be a bad thing, and sometimes I just need a break. Getting out allows me to get away from the people I love and to remember that I do, in fact, love them and that they are a blessing to me. Because they are a blessing, and I am honoured to know them. All of them. I don't know if I could put in to words the things I have learned from living and loving here in this place. But I know my life is richer, my heart is bigger, and the Lord is indeed at work here.

Enjoying Part II

Talk about enjoying people! I am loving the people I daily get to work and live with here in this community. God is so good and He has placed me, in this season, in a community unlike any other I know. He has given me access and means to an old manor in the South of England that has been transformed into a Christian conference centre, manned mostly by volunteers from around the world. And these are the people I get to live life with--Brazilians, Spaniards, Czechs, Hungarians, Koreans, Germans, Ugandans, Kenyans, Mongolians, etc. I have never known so many people from so many places! And I love them all.

It's been such fun to watch these precious people live and work and relate to each other and to be in the midst of it all. Each nationality is so unique. The Brazilians are loud and full of life, the Germans are punctual and straight-forward. The Hungarians are absolutely beautiful and the Koreans will do anything for you. The Africans are cheeky and the Czechs are always active. But despite our differences, it's what we have in common that is the most important. A Creator who knows us intimately, who designed each of us and specifically chose our nationality, the country and the city we would call home, the One who brought each of us here for such a time as this, the Man we love to worship and serve here in our unique ways that combine to make one beautiful international expression of love for Him.

Enjoying

I've had a lot of time to think lately. I suppose that's obvious. One thing I've been thinking about is the people in my life, people I've known for years as well as those I've just recently met. This probably has something to do with the fact that I'm moving to another country and won't see any of them for at least a year (except my bfitwww who is required to visit ;)) but I think it's led to some productive reflections.

About seven months ago, I got a job, just a basic "hey, it's money," kind of job where 95% of the people I work with are not Christians. I was apprehensive at first, having spent three years working for a Christian ministry, and I'm ashamed to say that during that time I didn't even know anyone who wasn't a Christian (outside my own family). But I have so enjoyed these people. Their frank honesty and lack of, "forgive my langauge, 'poppycock'," was incredibly refreshing.

The fact that I have been able to enjoy these people who talk about the basest of things and spit out profanity at every other turn got me thinking about how I've grown to judge those around me, specifically for not doing what I think they should be doing. I hate that I've done that. I'm just being honest here, but somehow (I could tell you how, but I won't), somewhere along the yellow brick road, I started judging the people walking with me. And not just them, everyone, including myself. And you know what? That is not the Father's heart.

Not only does it take extremely less effort to enjoy people rather than to judge them, but it makes me happy to appreciate them and I love them better. And that's really important--loving people well. People, especially those who aren't Christians and don't know the Father's heart, need to know/feel that they're loved; that's what they're looking for. It's what we're all looking for. And if we can love them, as well as one another, with the love that the Father has for them, they'll see Him better and maybe just fall in love with His heart.

Just a few of my thoughts for the day...

Success

Ok, I'm going to address "waiting well" but just not yet.

What I've really been thinking about a lot is the word "success." There are so many different definitions and even more opinions about what it is and what it looks like. And it seems conflict arises when people disagree--imagine that.

Most people, I would say, judge success by temporal factors: accomplishments, occupation, financial status, standard of living, etc., any of which could change at any time, which means perhaps one day you're successful and then another, you're not. Yesterday you were CEO of a prominent and wealthy company, today you're unemployed and being investigated for fraud. Or, in college you set a national record for fastest 100 meter dash, and now you grunt when getting up from a chair and limp to the refrigerator for a soda. Ok, so you were successful. At one point. But now? It seems to me that to continue being "successful" in this manner, you'd have to maintain the success accomplished and/or set and accomplish new goals. That's fine. Go for it. But what is the price and what is the prize? And is it really worth it? (No, seriously, is it?)

For me, I want the best return for my time, energy and money which usually are the three main things required when setting out to accomplish a goal. Those three things are costly, so I want my "success" to last as long as possible. In this temporary life, however, that is difficult, which is why what I'm really talking about is eternal success--that's what is most imporant to me, the kind that will never fade.

We know that our work (aka accomplishments) will eventually be tried by fire (1 Cor 3) and that for that which endures, we will be rewarded. For the work that burns up, for the labor that has no eternal component, we will suffer loss. I imagine part of that loss will be the time/energy/money we spent working for whatever it was that burned up, t/e/m that we could have spent pursuing something that would last forever..just a thought. So why not invest now in that which will last forever? Why spend t/e/m on that which will just burn?

I know most people (and by people I mean Christians) don't think like this or about this, and that's fine. The goal of most Christians I've met is just to get "saved" (often thought accomplished by saying a prayer...) and work up enough courage to attempt to get others "saved" by getting them to say a prayer...but there really is so much more to the Kingdom--the True Life that's behind Door #1. And trust me when I say, we will spend an infinite amount of time behind that door. If we can invest now and get rewards that will last forever (which we can, it's in the Word), why would we waste time pursuing "success" that, while it looks good to others, burns up and doesn't last? I want to put my t/e/m into that which will gain eternal rewards. That's what I call a good return. That's what I call success.


Q: What kind of labor is eternally rewarded?