From a Chair to a Pillar

You know, when the Lord kicks out our props, He does it on purpose. Believe it or not, there are times He actually causes us to fall. "Heresy," I hear you say. No, it's not. Listen. You know why He does it? It’s not so He can be cruel and watch our lives fall to pieces and then look down and say, “I told you to make me your everything.” No, it’s so He can catch us and in that, show us His power. He doesn’t want us relying on anything else but Him because He is the best and He wants the best for us.

 

Think of a chair. It has four legs. Say He is one leg, but my significant other is one, my method of income is one and my health is one. I am not completely relying on Him, am I? But He wants me to rely on Him completely. So what does He do? He starts taking things away. Maybe my boyfriend leaves me. Things at work are in shambles; nothing is going the way I planned, and I’m afraid I will lose my job. To make things worse, I need to have my gallbladder removed. Little by little, He breaks the legs, and the chair begins to fall over. I have no control; the chair is going to fall. It cannot stand on just one leg. So it topples, on a crash-course; destination: obliteration.

But just before the chair of my life hits the ground, that’s when He catches me, if I’ll let Him. He doesn’t want me crashing to the ground. He doesn’t want my life in shattered pieces. He wants to stretch out His mighty hands and lift me back up. He wants to be my full support. He wants to be my pillar. This is where He shows His power. This is where He reveals more of His character. That’s what He wants. And through what will no doubt be a painful process, He takes what used to be the chair of my life, and He makes it into a mighty pillar, a rock on which I get to stand. He shapes and molds me and my life so that there’s only one thing supporting me now, and He will not fail. No one can knock Him over. No one can take Him away.

There are times we go through pruning seasons, seasons we feel we have lost so much. But it has purpose in our lives. There is a reason and He has a strategy. I don’t know much about gardening, my mother can attest to that, but I do know, when a gardener prunes, he does it so that the plant can bear more fruit. He removes some buds. He takes away some of the fruit. And the plant in turn produces more fruit. It’s exactly what He does with us. He takes away a little, so we can bear much more. He wants more for us. Always. So if you’ve been in a pruning season, if the Lord has removed some things, some people, from your life, ask Him why. Probably He has taken them away because He has better for you and He has more for you. Trust in His goodness and allow Him to be your pillar, your strength so that in Him, you can never be knocked over.

For You, O God, have tested us;

You have refined us as silver is refined.

You brought us into the net;

You laid affliction on our backs.

You have caused men to ride over our heads;

We went through fire and through water;

But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.

Psalm 66: 10-12

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

I have got to share a story with you. My mom just this morning pulled some books for me from her eclectic collection of paperbacks that she thought I might like. Apparently my writing reminds her of a specific author, but you know, “it could use some work.” I don't doubt that. She recommended one book, and I began reading it this afternoon. It’s the story of a man on a journey through the darkness of depression, and the commentary of his experience in a psychiatric ward really spoke to my heart. I have friends who are…going through some stuff, shall we say. And, having just been through some stuff myself, although nothing nearly as dark as this author’s journey, I understand a little bit better, and my desire is to stand with them, in encouragement, support, intercession, however I can. And I also have friends on the other side who are standing with their friends who are struggling in the same manner.

So, if you’re in the first boat and have some “stuff” going on, be encouraged: you are not alone. Even if it looks like no one is standing with you, I bet there is. In fact I know One who is absolutely fighting for you. And if you’re in the second boat, be encouraged. Your fight for your friend(s) definitely makes a difference.

We are one Body, so as Paul wrote, let us “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ,” (Galatians 6:2). Which law is that? The law of Love.

“In the dark days when Christ came to me as I lay there on my mat in the glare of the brake lights—or was it in the dust, begging alms at the city gate, or beside the pool whose waters promised healing if only I could reach them in time, or along the road where one could make mud for the eyes from spittle and dirt, or on the road to Mary and Martha’s house, where the crowd jockeyed for position and a good seat, or in the tomb with Lazarus himself, wrapped in bandages, beginning to rot, alone in the dark—on the day when Christ said to me, “Do you want to be healed?” it was Norma who kept saying yes, not me. I was too tired, too ill, too afraid, too uncertain, too ready to die. It was Norma and my sister and my friends and a couple dozen strangers who took me to the Healer.

     “'Your faith has made you whole,' said Jesus to one He had healed. In fact, in many cases [ex. Mark 2:5-12] it was the faith of those who came running through the town to tell the cripple that the Healer was nearby and convinced him that it was worth the effort to try and get there. It was the faith of those who carried the litter, pushed through the crowd, tore off the roof tiles, lifted the litter, struggled across the roof in the sun, lowered the rope, and ran downstairs to tell Jesus that the man who was coming through the roof was ready to be healed, whether the man knew it or not. It was their faith, or hope or desire or concern or wild dream or crazy idea, or something. In the end, it was their love for the cripple that made him whole."

--Robert Benson, Between the Dreaming and the Coming True

I have a friend, a brother I love dearly. That boy is 200lbs and one day, he jumped on my back. I was shocked I didn't immediately fall over. But, silly me, I tried to walk. I couldn't even take one step. Literally, not one step. But this, I can do. In Christ Jesus, I am strong enough for this. It may be a long road, but you know, the load doesn't weigh me down, 'cause he's my brother.
 

          "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother"

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...

 
He Ain't Heavy... (The Hollies)

Our God is fighting for us always! Open Up Our Eyes (Elevation)
 

Grace

More about change later…

I’m realizing more and more that I am on a journey. And so is everyone around me. I was made by the Master Craftsman, but you know, He is still working on me. I am not finished by any means. I’m not even close. There are so many flaws in me, broken pieces and sharp corners, places that need to be smoothed, places that need to be fixed. And I’m coming to the conclusion that I need more grace. For others but also for myself.

I have always had high standards for others as well as for myself. And consequently, I get disappointed a lot. But taking a moment out of my disappointment to reflect, I am hit with the thought that some who have disappointed me really are trying their best. It wasn’t their motivation or intention to disappoint me; probably it has more to do with a lack of maturity, and even more than that, it has to do with the expectations I placed on them (whether I realized I was placing expectations on them or not). Granted, they are responsible for their actions, and there is always room for growth. But I’m learning that I need to have grace for them. I think that’s related to my earlier post Love Endures. I read today in Proverbs 19 that “the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Overlooking a transgression. That’s grace. That’s the love that endures all things. I’m not advocating the lack of accountability or communication in our relationships. I’m not saying we should take our disappointments and sweep them under the rug and pretend we were never hurt. But to learn to take our hearts to the Lord, ask Him to help us forgive those who have disappointed us and then extend grace to those people. The Lord will work on their hearts; that’s not our job.

Our job is to cultivate our hearts and care for our own vineyards (Song of Solomon 1). We don’t have to have it together all the time. And it’s foolishness to pretend that we do. I think maturity is admitting to ourselves that sometimes we are a mess and we need Jesus to come and help. That’s extending grace to ourselves. And I think we need more of it. Not to excuse our bad behavior or our sin, but to do our best to honor the Lord and others in all we do, knowing sometimes we’re going to slip, but also knowing He reaches down with His mighty right hand and He picks us back up. Every time. I was reminded recently of something one of my friends says so often: He is so faithful He will not leave us as we are. It’s true. He is committed to this work of art He started. The Author and Perfecter of our faith will indeed finish the good work He began in us. And believe it or not, it is His joy to do so.

Encouragement:
Mainstream Wait and See (Brandon Heath)
Old School :) Please Be Patient with Me (Albertina Walker)
 

 



Change Ahead Part II: Change Comes When...

Ok. You were in the desert. You hated it. You couldn’t stay there. You were desperate for change. So what did you do? You took matters into your own hands. You thought it couldn’t get any worse. But you’re quickly discovering you were wrong. Your situation just got harder, and you know it’s because of the choice(s) you made. Now instead of wandering around the wilderness, you’re at the bottom of a 10-foot hole, still stuck in the desert. You know you dug your own ditch, and it just seems to be getting deeper and deeper no matter what you do. You are sinking and sinking fast. What now?

Well, let me tell you my friend.

You look up. You come to Him. You approach the Throne of Grace. You humble yourself before the Mercy Seat. You know there is no shame in His presence? Not an ounce. That’s not the way He works. Conviction, yes. Shame, absolutely not. Repentance is necessary. Accusation—there is none.

If you find yourself in this position, and chances are that you either have or you will or both, the best wisdom is: Get into His Presence. There is nothing He cannot fix. He is our Redeemer, and that does not stop at the cross. He is the Repairer of Broken Things. He is our Defender, the One who fights on our behalf, and both the battle and the victory are His. Of course He is going to fight on your behalf; you are His Beloved child!

But first things first. He will want to deal with your heart and the motivating factor that led you to make the, let’s say, not so wise choice(s) you made. It’s not your circumstance or situation that concerns Him as much as what is in your heart that led you there.

Perhaps it was a lack of wisdom. You made a foolish choice, but you didn’t even realize it was foolish at the time. And now you’re paying for it.

 Perhaps you don’t truly believe He is good and has good things for you, so you tried to get good things for yourself, only it turned out what you thought was good was in actuality, terrible. You are not alone and you are not the first to do so (or the last!).

Perhaps you just got tired of waiting, and thought “Anything is better than nothing.” But maybe now you’ve reconsidered, would like to turn back the clock and have nothing rather than the “something” you’re stuck with.

It honestly doesn’t matter what it is; He just wants to deal with it. And He will do that by showing you who He is. That’s what changes us, revelation of Him. So if we want change, we have got to get into His Presence and allow Him to reveal Himself to us, to reveal His love, His goodness, His faithfulness. You know, He is so committed to you. He gave His Son for you! There ain’t anyone else on the planet, at any point in history who would be willing to do that for you (well, no sane person at least…).

If you want change, you have to embrace the fact that change comes when He changes us. The same “us” in different circumstances will be the same; there will be no change. We will, again, find ourselves at the bottom of a pit we can blame no one but ourselves for digging. But the great thing is, He can leave us in the exact same situation, change us, and everything changes.

Along the way, He will of course change our circumstances and our situations as well. He will lead us where He wants us. But He won’t do it to get us out of the hole. He will do it to bless us, to challenge us, to grow us, to reveal His glory in greater ways, because after all, it’s all about Him.

 Remember, this too will pass. He will strengthen you as you wait on Him (Isaiah 40) and your situation is not hopeless. But if you need encouragement for the moment:
 You're An Overcomer (Mandisa)

Change Ahead

Isaiah 43: 18-19

                Do not remember the former things,

                Nor consider the things of old.

                Behold, I will do a new thing,

                Now it shall spring forth;

                Shall you not know it?

                I will even make a road in the wilderness

                And rivers in the desert.

 

I had this thought the other day: You know why the Lord makes a road in the wilderness? So we can get out!

Just imagine being out in the desert, stumbling around with absolutely no idea which way to go, walking in circles, this way and that, no sign, no landmark, nothing to give direction. But if there was a road...if there was a road, you could get out.

But who makes the road? He makes the road. And when does He make it? In His perfect timing.

Often as we are left in a wilderness season it’s easy to simply decide we are tired of waiting on Him to make the road. We’re in the middle of the hot and stinking desert, we’re sick of being there, so we head out. We pick a direction and we start walking.

Maybe we feel He just didn’t show up, so we have to take matters into our own hands. He didn’t make a road. He doesn’t see that we’re there, dying of thirst, about to faint from the heat of the day. He doesn’t care. We’re all alone. And if we stay here any longer in this barren wasteland, we are going to die.

Some people say that’s usually about the time He shows up. But, for me, I have not found that to be true. Some people call Him the God of 11:59pm. For me, it has usually been 12:03. He comes after the breaking point. He comes, not in the nick of time, but when I am beyond what I thought I could handle, after I’ve reached a place darker and more desperate than I’ve ever been, than I ever thought I could reach.

That’s when I find the road. His road.

But sometimes, instead of waiting on Him to make the road, we decide we’re going to make our own road. We embrace the human mindset that says: “I want change. Therefore, I have to change things.” Oh the mess we can make of our lives when we decide NOT to wait on God, and maybe some version of this song goes through our minds:
 

I see no changes. Wake up in the morning and I ask myself,
"Is life worth living? Should I blast myself?"
We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive...Some things will never change

 Of course, it makes complete sense to our earthly minds. If you want something to change, you make a change. It looks good even: let’s change the way we eat, live, and treat each other. Obviously the old way isn’t working, so it’s on us to do what we’ve got to do. It’s on us.

But it’s not on us. That’s the whole point. As Christians, we are not in charge, to put it simply. We are not our own masters. It is not up to us. It is up to Him, Jesus Christ, the One we proclaim as Lord. If He truly is Lord (aka the Boss), we must submit to His leadership and allow Him to make the change. Which means allowing Him to keep us in the wilderness until His perfect timing comes to pass and He creates the road to get us out. We must trust in His goodness, knowing He will not leave us there a second longer than we can handle being there. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s painful. But He is with us in the midst of it, and as we turn our eyes to look upon Him, He will meet us there and His Presence, His grace will sustain us and He will lead us out. He WILL.

If you're in a wilderness season, I dare you to trust Him to make a road in your desert and to lead you out of it. I can guarantee that the results will be far better than what you would produce if you took matters into your own hands. He is GOOD; look to Him, wait on Him, put yourself in His presence, and trust Him.

 

"For since the beginning of the world

Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear,

Nor has the eye seen any God besides You,

Who acts for the one who waits for Him."

         Isaiah 64:4

Don't give up, don't give in. If you don't quit, you'll win. Cuz He's Gonna Turn It All Around (Misty Edwards)



Love Endures

You know those people you just feel called to? You sense there’s a special bond there, and maybe you can’t even explain it, but it just is? Maybe they don’t feel it in return, but for you, you know you would do anything for them. I’ve had a few people like that in my life, and they have been the biggest sources of enjoyment as well as the largest challenges. I’ve learned the most from my relationships with them, usually (honestly) when they offend or hurt me and I have to take it to the Lord. It’s amazing what He reveals to me when I am absolutely annoyed with someone I really love. I am one of those people who analyze everything, especially anything having to do with relationships, doesn’t matter the kind of relationship, and He uses those people and those situations to speak truth to my heart.

What the Lord has been talking to me about recently is Proverbs 17:17 and 1 Corinthians 13. The wisdom of Solomon: “A friend loves at all times…” and the famous “Love is…” passage in Paul’s epistle. Ok, so if my desire is to be a good friend, which really is my heart’s cry in every relationship, then I am called to love at all times. But what does that look like? It looks like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7…it is suffering long (and sometimes I feel like I am suffering for a long time…). It is being kind. It is not being envious. It is refusing to boast , to be rude, to be self-seeking, to provoke, to think evil, to rejoice in iniquity. It is bearing/carrying all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. For me, it’s the last one that really convicts me recently- enduring all things. At. All. Times.

At all times. At ALL times. How can I possibly endure all things at all times? You know, there are days when a friend will make me so angry, or more often, disappoint me so much, I simply want to drop them. I am just being honest here, but sometimes I get so hurt, everything inside of me says, “Forget you, I’m moving on.” But then the still small voice speaks; that quiet whisper that comes from somewhere deep within, it speaks to me. And He reminds me of what He endured for me. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). And usually my super-holy response to Him is, “Really? You’ve got to be kidding me. I can’t give up on this person?” And He says no. Because He didn’t give up on me.

So I’ve thought a lot about how I should love my friends, especially lately, and am always reminded of a song by Misty Edwards (link at the bottom) entitled “What Does Love Look Like?” The fruit of her pondering—Love looks like Jesus on the cross, with “arms wide open and a heart exposed.” How convicting. On the cross His arms were physically stretched wide; there was no way He could protect Himself. He was completely vulnerable. Voluntarily completely vulnerable. He allowed it. Why? For the sake of Love. We know that He could have called a legion of angels to rescue Him, but He didn’t. He stayed there and loved, with His arms wide open and His heart exposed. If Jesus loved me this way, I have to love others the same. That means being open, available, vulnerable to others, allowing them access to me, knowing full well they have the ability to hurt me, knowing full well that eventually, they probably will. Love endures all things at all times.

The greatest source of comfort in this is knowing that there is One who endured for me, that for the joy set before Him He embraced the cross. For Me. So I will, in turn, take up my cross, I will share in the fellowship of His sufferings, and I will endure all things. For the sake of love.

 

 

What Does Love Look Like (Misty Edwards)

An Encounter with Grief

I have recently come out of what was certainly the most difficult season of my adult life. Praise the Lord it was a relatively short season. But it was seriously hard. I lost something very precious to me, and I have never felt so hopeless. The grief was overwhelming, and at times I had difficulty breathing, feeling the weight of my sorrow tangibly resting upon me. There were days I literally looked at the clock, wondering what I could do to make the time pass faster, wondering how I was ever going to make it to the next hour. I just wanted the day to be over. Why? I don’t know. The next day was often the same.

In the midst of it all, there wasn’t much I could do to alleviate the pain. There was only one thing—to put myself in the Presence of the only One who brings true comfort. The things that I would normally have used to numb the pain (i.e. movies, food, books) didn’t work. I found no enjoyment in anything. Literally nothing could distract me from what I was experiencing. So I sat in front of my laptop, with my headphones in, loudly pumping worship music into my ears, so I wouldn’t have to listen to my own thoughts, hoping the truth in the lyrics would somehow minister to my broken heart, and the sooner the better. I journaled; I wrote down everything about how I was feeling, and I was honest with God about how fearful I was I would lose this thing so precious to me (yeah, I saw it coming), then how angry I was that I lost it, and finally how hopeless I was once I had lost it. And I listened to sermons, the most encouraging things I could find—I badly needed to hear truth. And I poured out my heart to God. There were times I could do nothing but weep.

And you know what? He met me there in the middle of my storm. My friend Jesus who arrived at Bethany four days after Lazarus died and simply wept with Mary and Martha, empathizing with their grief, knowing all along He would raise His friend from the dead, yeah Him, He came and sat with me, and He mourned right alongside me, knowing I would soon make it to the other side, knowing He would be the One to carry me there. He didn’t belittle my sorrow at all. He didn't tell me to get my act together. He didn't tell me my sleepless nights were a waste of time. He didn't tell me my loss wasn't worth my tears. Actually He didn't really say anything. He simply validated my sorrow by putting every single tear into His bottle and bringing me comfort as only He can--with His sweet presence. And gradually, moment by moment, day by day, He brought (and is continuing to bring) healing to my heart, and He has given me the thing I could not even imagine having as I struggled not to drown in my suffering, the thing I cried out for more than anything--JOY.

 

 

"Where God is silent, the power of His presence is most profound in how He grieves with us." (Steven Furtick, Greater)

Every heartache will fade away: Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)