Change Ahead Part II: Change Comes When...

Ok. You were in the desert. You hated it. You couldn’t stay there. You were desperate for change. So what did you do? You took matters into your own hands. You thought it couldn’t get any worse. But you’re quickly discovering you were wrong. Your situation just got harder, and you know it’s because of the choice(s) you made. Now instead of wandering around the wilderness, you’re at the bottom of a 10-foot hole, still stuck in the desert. You know you dug your own ditch, and it just seems to be getting deeper and deeper no matter what you do. You are sinking and sinking fast. What now?

Well, let me tell you my friend.

You look up. You come to Him. You approach the Throne of Grace. You humble yourself before the Mercy Seat. You know there is no shame in His presence? Not an ounce. That’s not the way He works. Conviction, yes. Shame, absolutely not. Repentance is necessary. Accusation—there is none.

If you find yourself in this position, and chances are that you either have or you will or both, the best wisdom is: Get into His Presence. There is nothing He cannot fix. He is our Redeemer, and that does not stop at the cross. He is the Repairer of Broken Things. He is our Defender, the One who fights on our behalf, and both the battle and the victory are His. Of course He is going to fight on your behalf; you are His Beloved child!

But first things first. He will want to deal with your heart and the motivating factor that led you to make the, let’s say, not so wise choice(s) you made. It’s not your circumstance or situation that concerns Him as much as what is in your heart that led you there.

Perhaps it was a lack of wisdom. You made a foolish choice, but you didn’t even realize it was foolish at the time. And now you’re paying for it.

 Perhaps you don’t truly believe He is good and has good things for you, so you tried to get good things for yourself, only it turned out what you thought was good was in actuality, terrible. You are not alone and you are not the first to do so (or the last!).

Perhaps you just got tired of waiting, and thought “Anything is better than nothing.” But maybe now you’ve reconsidered, would like to turn back the clock and have nothing rather than the “something” you’re stuck with.

It honestly doesn’t matter what it is; He just wants to deal with it. And He will do that by showing you who He is. That’s what changes us, revelation of Him. So if we want change, we have got to get into His Presence and allow Him to reveal Himself to us, to reveal His love, His goodness, His faithfulness. You know, He is so committed to you. He gave His Son for you! There ain’t anyone else on the planet, at any point in history who would be willing to do that for you (well, no sane person at least…).

If you want change, you have to embrace the fact that change comes when He changes us. The same “us” in different circumstances will be the same; there will be no change. We will, again, find ourselves at the bottom of a pit we can blame no one but ourselves for digging. But the great thing is, He can leave us in the exact same situation, change us, and everything changes.

Along the way, He will of course change our circumstances and our situations as well. He will lead us where He wants us. But He won’t do it to get us out of the hole. He will do it to bless us, to challenge us, to grow us, to reveal His glory in greater ways, because after all, it’s all about Him.

 Remember, this too will pass. He will strengthen you as you wait on Him (Isaiah 40) and your situation is not hopeless. But if you need encouragement for the moment:
 You're An Overcomer (Mandisa)

Change Ahead

Isaiah 43: 18-19

                Do not remember the former things,

                Nor consider the things of old.

                Behold, I will do a new thing,

                Now it shall spring forth;

                Shall you not know it?

                I will even make a road in the wilderness

                And rivers in the desert.

 

I had this thought the other day: You know why the Lord makes a road in the wilderness? So we can get out!

Just imagine being out in the desert, stumbling around with absolutely no idea which way to go, walking in circles, this way and that, no sign, no landmark, nothing to give direction. But if there was a road...if there was a road, you could get out.

But who makes the road? He makes the road. And when does He make it? In His perfect timing.

Often as we are left in a wilderness season it’s easy to simply decide we are tired of waiting on Him to make the road. We’re in the middle of the hot and stinking desert, we’re sick of being there, so we head out. We pick a direction and we start walking.

Maybe we feel He just didn’t show up, so we have to take matters into our own hands. He didn’t make a road. He doesn’t see that we’re there, dying of thirst, about to faint from the heat of the day. He doesn’t care. We’re all alone. And if we stay here any longer in this barren wasteland, we are going to die.

Some people say that’s usually about the time He shows up. But, for me, I have not found that to be true. Some people call Him the God of 11:59pm. For me, it has usually been 12:03. He comes after the breaking point. He comes, not in the nick of time, but when I am beyond what I thought I could handle, after I’ve reached a place darker and more desperate than I’ve ever been, than I ever thought I could reach.

That’s when I find the road. His road.

But sometimes, instead of waiting on Him to make the road, we decide we’re going to make our own road. We embrace the human mindset that says: “I want change. Therefore, I have to change things.” Oh the mess we can make of our lives when we decide NOT to wait on God, and maybe some version of this song goes through our minds:
 

I see no changes. Wake up in the morning and I ask myself,
"Is life worth living? Should I blast myself?"
We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive...Some things will never change

 Of course, it makes complete sense to our earthly minds. If you want something to change, you make a change. It looks good even: let’s change the way we eat, live, and treat each other. Obviously the old way isn’t working, so it’s on us to do what we’ve got to do. It’s on us.

But it’s not on us. That’s the whole point. As Christians, we are not in charge, to put it simply. We are not our own masters. It is not up to us. It is up to Him, Jesus Christ, the One we proclaim as Lord. If He truly is Lord (aka the Boss), we must submit to His leadership and allow Him to make the change. Which means allowing Him to keep us in the wilderness until His perfect timing comes to pass and He creates the road to get us out. We must trust in His goodness, knowing He will not leave us there a second longer than we can handle being there. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s painful. But He is with us in the midst of it, and as we turn our eyes to look upon Him, He will meet us there and His Presence, His grace will sustain us and He will lead us out. He WILL.

If you're in a wilderness season, I dare you to trust Him to make a road in your desert and to lead you out of it. I can guarantee that the results will be far better than what you would produce if you took matters into your own hands. He is GOOD; look to Him, wait on Him, put yourself in His presence, and trust Him.

 

"For since the beginning of the world

Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear,

Nor has the eye seen any God besides You,

Who acts for the one who waits for Him."

         Isaiah 64:4

Don't give up, don't give in. If you don't quit, you'll win. Cuz He's Gonna Turn It All Around (Misty Edwards)



Love Endures

You know those people you just feel called to? You sense there’s a special bond there, and maybe you can’t even explain it, but it just is? Maybe they don’t feel it in return, but for you, you know you would do anything for them. I’ve had a few people like that in my life, and they have been the biggest sources of enjoyment as well as the largest challenges. I’ve learned the most from my relationships with them, usually (honestly) when they offend or hurt me and I have to take it to the Lord. It’s amazing what He reveals to me when I am absolutely annoyed with someone I really love. I am one of those people who analyze everything, especially anything having to do with relationships, doesn’t matter the kind of relationship, and He uses those people and those situations to speak truth to my heart.

What the Lord has been talking to me about recently is Proverbs 17:17 and 1 Corinthians 13. The wisdom of Solomon: “A friend loves at all times…” and the famous “Love is…” passage in Paul’s epistle. Ok, so if my desire is to be a good friend, which really is my heart’s cry in every relationship, then I am called to love at all times. But what does that look like? It looks like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7…it is suffering long (and sometimes I feel like I am suffering for a long time…). It is being kind. It is not being envious. It is refusing to boast , to be rude, to be self-seeking, to provoke, to think evil, to rejoice in iniquity. It is bearing/carrying all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. For me, it’s the last one that really convicts me recently- enduring all things. At. All. Times.

At all times. At ALL times. How can I possibly endure all things at all times? You know, there are days when a friend will make me so angry, or more often, disappoint me so much, I simply want to drop them. I am just being honest here, but sometimes I get so hurt, everything inside of me says, “Forget you, I’m moving on.” But then the still small voice speaks; that quiet whisper that comes from somewhere deep within, it speaks to me. And He reminds me of what He endured for me. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). And usually my super-holy response to Him is, “Really? You’ve got to be kidding me. I can’t give up on this person?” And He says no. Because He didn’t give up on me.

So I’ve thought a lot about how I should love my friends, especially lately, and am always reminded of a song by Misty Edwards (link at the bottom) entitled “What Does Love Look Like?” The fruit of her pondering—Love looks like Jesus on the cross, with “arms wide open and a heart exposed.” How convicting. On the cross His arms were physically stretched wide; there was no way He could protect Himself. He was completely vulnerable. Voluntarily completely vulnerable. He allowed it. Why? For the sake of Love. We know that He could have called a legion of angels to rescue Him, but He didn’t. He stayed there and loved, with His arms wide open and His heart exposed. If Jesus loved me this way, I have to love others the same. That means being open, available, vulnerable to others, allowing them access to me, knowing full well they have the ability to hurt me, knowing full well that eventually, they probably will. Love endures all things at all times.

The greatest source of comfort in this is knowing that there is One who endured for me, that for the joy set before Him He embraced the cross. For Me. So I will, in turn, take up my cross, I will share in the fellowship of His sufferings, and I will endure all things. For the sake of love.

 

 

What Does Love Look Like (Misty Edwards)

An Encounter with Grief

I have recently come out of what was certainly the most difficult season of my adult life. Praise the Lord it was a relatively short season. But it was seriously hard. I lost something very precious to me, and I have never felt so hopeless. The grief was overwhelming, and at times I had difficulty breathing, feeling the weight of my sorrow tangibly resting upon me. There were days I literally looked at the clock, wondering what I could do to make the time pass faster, wondering how I was ever going to make it to the next hour. I just wanted the day to be over. Why? I don’t know. The next day was often the same.

In the midst of it all, there wasn’t much I could do to alleviate the pain. There was only one thing—to put myself in the Presence of the only One who brings true comfort. The things that I would normally have used to numb the pain (i.e. movies, food, books) didn’t work. I found no enjoyment in anything. Literally nothing could distract me from what I was experiencing. So I sat in front of my laptop, with my headphones in, loudly pumping worship music into my ears, so I wouldn’t have to listen to my own thoughts, hoping the truth in the lyrics would somehow minister to my broken heart, and the sooner the better. I journaled; I wrote down everything about how I was feeling, and I was honest with God about how fearful I was I would lose this thing so precious to me (yeah, I saw it coming), then how angry I was that I lost it, and finally how hopeless I was once I had lost it. And I listened to sermons, the most encouraging things I could find—I badly needed to hear truth. And I poured out my heart to God. There were times I could do nothing but weep.

And you know what? He met me there in the middle of my storm. My friend Jesus who arrived at Bethany four days after Lazarus died and simply wept with Mary and Martha, empathizing with their grief, knowing all along He would raise His friend from the dead, yeah Him, He came and sat with me, and He mourned right alongside me, knowing I would soon make it to the other side, knowing He would be the One to carry me there. He didn’t belittle my sorrow at all. He didn't tell me to get my act together. He didn't tell me my sleepless nights were a waste of time. He didn't tell me my loss wasn't worth my tears. Actually He didn't really say anything. He simply validated my sorrow by putting every single tear into His bottle and bringing me comfort as only He can--with His sweet presence. And gradually, moment by moment, day by day, He brought (and is continuing to bring) healing to my heart, and He has given me the thing I could not even imagine having as I struggled not to drown in my suffering, the thing I cried out for more than anything--JOY.

 

 

"Where God is silent, the power of His presence is most profound in how He grieves with us." (Steven Furtick, Greater)

Every heartache will fade away: Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)

 

 

Brothers

For my birthday, one of my guy friends signed my card not with the usual expressed 'Happy birthday' sentiments but with Proverbs 17:17: 'A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity,' which I honestly thought was hilarious. As an only child, I haven't experienced this much for myself, but for the past several weeks, the verse continues to come back to me, usually when one of my 'brothers' is being 'adversarial'...which in most cases means annoying.

I love my brothers here in this community (my sisters as well) and really appreciate them for who they are. But it isn't always easy. I don't have a biological brother, so sometimes I forget that guys are so different. They joke about things that girls don't joke about. They emit noises that *most girls don't make. And sometimes I want to scream at them to grow up. (And sometimes that desire manifests itself, although I usually try to leave the room before it gets to that point). They are just strange. They think differently, they feel differently, they express themselves differently, they are so completely weird.

But, despite the difficulties/frustrations their weirdness can cause, I love them. Really. Without them life would be so boring. And, what is more important, they have a purpose in my life--they are the iron the Lord uses to sharpen me, the trials the Lord uses to test me (yeah, sometimes it's really that bad) and the tools He uses to grow me. 'A friend loves at all times...'. Even in the midst of annoyance, even in the midst of adversity, I remember these are my brothers, these are my friends, and I (choose to) love them.




*exception: Miru

Communal Living

     Living in community is always a challenge. Living in a Christian community can be even more so. Fortunately, I am continually reminded that it is also a blessing. Here in this tiny place that is just a blip on the map of England, a small country in itself, the challenges of everyday communal living are quite real. For me, they lie mostly under the surface and I tend to be able to give them to God without too many people noticing. But they are there and I know will continue to be there and I will have to continue to submit them to the Lord. I think I am realizing that mostly they are the lies the enemy always tells me, just amplified, intensified. For others, the challenges of the day are more evident.
      I went out the other day with a friend (we both had the day off and fancied some good coffee) and we ended up talking about some of the recent challenges we have faced. And I was reminded of a few things: 1) Sometimes we need to express our frustrations; it helps so often just to give voice to them. Maybe there is nothing we can do in our situation, but talking about it with a trusted friend can help so much. 2) We cannot solve the problems of our world. For me, I am always in a position of submission to authority (as we all are, but I usually seem to be closer to the bottom than the top) and as much as I would love to just sit and talk and figure out all the answers to all the problems in my current tiny world, I can't. I don't have the answers and my opinions matter little. And that's ok. It's not my job to figure out the solutions to the problems. It's my job to support those whose job is to hear the solution from the One who has the answers. And 3) The enemy is always scheming, always plotting to ruin the good work the Lord is doing in His kingdom. In a community such as this, it's so easy to allow him access to our relationships. We work and live and worship and play together, something I think the Lord loves, but our close lifestyle intensifies our relationships, making the good better and the bad, even worse.
     For me, that means I have to remember to get out every once in a while. I love where I live, and honestly, it takes some effort as well as money (usually) to get out and back, but I have to remind myself that too much of a good thing, can be a bad thing, and sometimes I just need a break. Getting out allows me to get away from the people I love and to remember that I do, in fact, love them and that they are a blessing to me. Because they are a blessing, and I am honoured to know them. All of them. I don't know if I could put in to words the things I have learned from living and loving here in this place. But I know my life is richer, my heart is bigger, and the Lord is indeed at work here.

Enjoying Part II

Talk about enjoying people! I am loving the people I daily get to work and live with here in this community. God is so good and He has placed me, in this season, in a community unlike any other I know. He has given me access and means to an old manor in the South of England that has been transformed into a Christian conference centre, manned mostly by volunteers from around the world. And these are the people I get to live life with--Brazilians, Spaniards, Czechs, Hungarians, Koreans, Germans, Ugandans, Kenyans, Mongolians, etc. I have never known so many people from so many places! And I love them all.

It's been such fun to watch these precious people live and work and relate to each other and to be in the midst of it all. Each nationality is so unique. The Brazilians are loud and full of life, the Germans are punctual and straight-forward. The Hungarians are absolutely beautiful and the Koreans will do anything for you. The Africans are cheeky and the Czechs are always active. But despite our differences, it's what we have in common that is the most important. A Creator who knows us intimately, who designed each of us and specifically chose our nationality, the country and the city we would call home, the One who brought each of us here for such a time as this, the Man we love to worship and serve here in our unique ways that combine to make one beautiful international expression of love for Him.